Today I noticed…. How productive you can be with a deadline. We saw our second real estate agent yesterday and she suggested we aim to have all of the work done in two weeks so that she can come in and take pictures. Two weeks seemed slightly tight when she was here. When she left, and I got started on sparkling the last room that will need it, two weeks seemed impossibly short. I tallied up all the little odd painting jobs I have left to do and two weeks seemed impossible. Eventually, I couldn’t be left with my thoughts anymore. I needed to drown myself in a podcast in order to calm my brain. I wish I could pump podcasts into my brain nonstop. This whole selling of the house thing is not very fun. The fact that they keep comparing our house to houses that are nothing like it and then telling us that is the amount of money we can get is definitely no fun. But, now, I’ve got an urgent list. I think maybe it will calm my mind. At the very least, it will fill my days. And, in two weeks, if we haven’t gotten our house listed. If we decide not to sell? All of these little niggling things will be done. The random touch ups. The doors that needed to be taken down and painted. The little bit of crown that didn’t get finished in the kitchen? It will all be done. We can spend the rest of the summer enjoying the summer instead of frantically trying to squeeze in house things. But, if we don’t list, then we will be staying here.
Today I noticed that I love my house, I love my yard, but I hate living here. It is very isolating being in the country. Especially when you live here with no family close by. Most people who are out of town have family come down and move with them. That makes sense to me, because without that, you literally have no one. The people here hang out with the people they’ve been hanging out with since elementary school, and the family that they were born into. If you are new, you don’t try to draw attention to that by inviting more new people to hang out with you. You pretend that you aren’t new. You act like you belong. You reference only things that someone who is from here would reference. And, then you ignore ignore ignore everyone else.
It’s hard. Southern nice is very superficial. Southern nice is very fake. Southern nice is very isolating.